So what is the legacy of Easter to you? An empty tomb or an empty promise? Is the whole notion of Jesus rising from the dead the "Frankenstein" of human religion or is it a mythological story penned by pathologically grieving disciples? Maybe there wasn't this disenfranchised Judas, the most trusted guy in the bunch who Jesus appointed as treasurer of his "band of brothers." Maybe there was no crucifixion at all, perhaps Jesus was a carpenter fellow and this whole story of death on a cross is about some guy who was deified posthumously.
What do all of these stories of the resurrection prove anyway? Is the resurrection of Jesus Christ a historical fact or is it fiction? Certainly there are opposing positions on the bible narrative. Islam claims that Christ was a prophet, not God incarnate, as no God-equal would himself to suffer the humility of persecution and death on a cross. God simply would not do this. Christ was a prophet, a notion that Muslim people at least admit openly. He was indeed mortally wounded, but suffered unconsciousness and regained cerebral perfusion after being entombed for a few hours. Besides, Christians are polytheists believing in a "trinity" or 3 gods. Pagans, infidels, lost people who worship the pope and have sex at the center of their culture.
Besides, was Jesus really dead? I mean the fact that the staff sergeant on duty broke the legs of the other two men crucified with him and shoved a spear into the thorax of this Jesus guy, well it probably means he was only wounded when he was taken down from the cross, right? A little IV fluids, some putting his legs up on a pillow, and yes - Jesus good as new in a couple of hours.
Listen, I know you don't want to hear the sublime monotheism explanation offered by evangelical Christians, do you? There are many things in the biblical narrative that defy any rational explanation - a virgin birth. Yes, come on you don't really believe that do you? Who would claim such a thing? A risen Christ, why bother? This man, Jesus, is dead. Let him rest in peace.
Imagine you are not a Christian in first century Palestine, you are walking along a dusty road and you hear this story of this prophet or teacher or whatever you want to call him - was recently arrested for civil disobedience and that his misfit followers were all scattered because they also feared for their lives.
After all, this Lazarus story (see prior blog entry) was circulating around town and you were in a hurry to get to Jerusalem. It is early Sunday morning and this story about some women going to cemetery to put a few flowers on the grave are now reporting that he is alive again. What does it mean to you?
There are many reasons why you should not believe this story. First of all, any good Jewish man will tell you that women are not allowed to testify in a court of law. The WORST WITNESS you could have, if you were trying to prove some legal or historical fact, was to have a WOMAN testify on your behalf. Women are naturally more charitably inclined to embellish their stories. If you were trying to popularize some story about a Messiah rising from the dead - definitely put a woman on the witness stand. Oh, also put a fisherman who denied he even knew you a few hours before on the stand. Oh, also call this fisherman the "rock" on which you build this new religion. Definitely a plus, don't you think?
Also, don't draw any attention to your funeral. In fact, die penny-less. Borrow someone's tomb as you know lots of people are going to show up for your funeral.
Speaking of funerals. Who was this Jesus, the president or something? Why post soldiers around his grave? Did we miss the parade through the rotunda or the flag-draped coffin somewhere? Besides, there's some misunderstanding about all of these Roman soldiers falling asleep on the job. I see this happening a lot at funerals, don't you?
OK, what about the state funeral procession for this Galilean? After all, wasn't he in Jeruselum the week before and thousands of people were waiving palm leaves as he rode into town on a donkey, side-saddled, like King David. Everyone knows that carpenters from Nazareth (especially those that belong to the carpenter's union and have expanded fringe benefits) have expensive funerals and soldiers posted by their government-sealed burial sites, right?
Also, the accounts of the resurrection are all messed up by these women. Most likely they just saw a ghost. Everyone knows that when you lose a loved one, well you just miss them so much it just sort of happens that you don't sleep well the night after the funeral and people bring all these strange foods to your house that cause you to have bad dreams.
Don't you agree? Tell me what you think.
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